Why I Chose to Graduate After 11 Years: A Story of Resilience, Motherhood and Never Giving Up

It Could Have Been Just a Certificate

Last month, I graduated with my second postgraduate diploma.

I graduated on the hottest day of the year. We took the kids out of school, my toddler out of nursery, and travelled all the way from our little house in the Cotswolds to North London. It was a two-hour ceremony, and it was hot.

I could have received my certificate in the post and not disrupted everyone’s week for this.

So why was it so important?

Because this qualification spans almost the whole of my children’s lives.

Life Didn't Stop While I Was Studying

It has taken me 11 years, start to finish.

I started when my 12-year-old was one. Then I had a break to have my now 10-year-old.

After that, I learnt self-care and standing up for myself.

There was learning to run. Twelve half marathons. Two marathons. An Ironman. A 70.3. Qualifying twice for Team GB. Coming sixth at the European Championships in 2022.

And still I studied.

When Life Changed Completely

Then there was the domestic abuse. The alcoholism. The gaslighting. Running away with my children and coming back. The divorce that still can’t happen because it turned out my marriage was also bigamy. The trauma. The readjustment. Keeping my children safe.

And still I studied.

Then came the ADHD diagnosis. The soul-searching. Grieving for the little girl who was misunderstood and unsupported. Realising that universities still don’t really offer enough support for neurodivergent students.

And still I studied.

Then I met someone new. The honeymoon phase. Realising just how much emotional baggage I carried. Wonderful adventures across Europe on two wheels. Lots of racing.

Then my third pregnancy.

I paused my studies with my postgraduate diploma, hoping that one day I would go back for the MSc.

Life had other ideas.

When Family Had to Come First

Postnatal depression, mark three.

Then my children’s dad (my ex) was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Despite everything that had happened between us, he was still their dad. There was the heartbreak of supporting my two older children through the news that their father was dying, while trying to navigate our own complicated history and keep life as stable as possible for them.

Then came the airway problems.

Christmas in intensive care, where we almost lost our toddler twice.

Fourteen procedures under general anaesthetic or in a coma.

My studies stayed on pause.

A child starting secondary school.

A winter of isolation so we could keep him out of hospital.

My studies stayed on pause.

Then nursery started.

Realising I Was Already Enough

When the opportunity came to return to study, I found myself staring at it blankly.

I realised I was enough without the MSc.

Then came the email confirming my postgraduate diploma.

I read it sitting beside my toddler’s hospital bed.

For over a decade, this qualification had been the unfinished thing sitting on my shoulder while life unfolded around it.

I was always enough without it.

I am even more with it.

But I am even more because of the rich set of coping skills I acquired doing everything except studying.

Why Graduating Really Mattered

Graduating wasn’t about collecting a certificate.

It was about drawing a line and saying, “I am enough.”

It was about showing my children what staying power and dedication look like.

And it was about looking around that graduation hall at people I had never met, knowing that every single one of them had their own story. Their own setbacks. Their own sacrifices. Their own reasons why simply being there mattered.

I couldn’t possibly know what any of them had been through to reach that day.

Just as they couldn’t know mine.

I could have had the certificate posted.

But some things deserve to be marked properly.

This was one of them.

I’m proud of myself today.

Allowing myself to graduate properly helped me recognise everything that these last eleven years have been, acknowledge it, celebrate it, and finally move on to whatever the next chapter holds.

Thank you for taking the time to read 'Why I Chose to Graduate After 11 Years: A Story of Resilience, Motherhood and Never Giving Up'.

Why I Chose to Graduate After 11 Years: A Story of Resilience, Motherhood and Never Giving Up

by Pippa Marsden